November 14, 2010

It has been a while since we have posted anything.  For those of you who are checking the blog regularly we are sorry that there have not been more updates.  The reason being is that these past couple weeks have been challenging.  Paula did really well the week before she went into the hospital and then even the days following her release were pretty good.  However, since her last treatment she has been battling some.  The week following her treatment she experiences numbness and tingling in her fingers.  The doctors tell us this is a normal side effect of one of the drugs in her chemo treatments.  I guess it is good to know it is normal but it makes it somewhat difficult for Paula to do things around the house.  Along with this Paula has not been sleeping well as she is up many times during the night (tonight is seems to be about every 30 minutes or so hence my post at 2:00 a.m.).  This has also kept me from sleeping as well as I should.  Obviously, this creates weariness after several days.  On top of this we seem to be having many other unexpected challenges.  The week that Paula went into the hospital I had an unpleasant experience with a guy that came by the church for help, we received a letter from the State of Utah telling us they were auditing our 2007 tax return due to the adoption and then Paula got the fever.  Yesterday I asked Kyle to vacuum his room and he came up to tell me that his floor was wet.  Kyle’s room is in the lowest level of our home so I thought the floor was probably just cold since his room is on a concrete slab.  When I went down to check his floor was indeed wet.  It seems like the solenoid value on the furnace humidifier went bad and every time it kicked on water ran out on the floor of the utility room right next to Kyle’s bedroom.  It got wet enough that we had to pull the carpet back and get rid of some of the padding.  So tonight he is sleeping on the floor in Abbie’s room while the fans are drying out his room.  So as you can see it has been a bit of a crazy couple weeks.  However, I am thankful for many things.  First, Paula has not had any more fevers and last week her tumor marker came down again to 72!  In just three treatments and 7 weeks this marker has gone from 289 to 72.  I am not sure what “normal” is for this kind of thing but we are pleased with how that is going.  Also, we got a letter today from the State of Utah saying that after reviewing the 50 plus pages of information I gave them that there was no change made to our return.  As a side note I had to smile when I took the information into the State.  The guy doing the review looked at my documentation briefly and then told me that I appeared more detailed then most people.  I figure those of you who know me well would get a chuckle out of that statement.  Anyway, I am also thankful that this morning in the midst of wet carpet I have a friend who owns a carpet business and installed our carpet who was willing to come right over and help me get things pulled back and cleaned up.  He is also having his guys come over on Monday to put things back in place.  We are also thankful that this weekend Paula’s great friend from Michigan, Julie Davis, is here to visit.  She has been a great help and encouragement.

So that is what has been happening around here lately in the physical world.  I know some of you who read our blog are not followers of Christ and may not understand or agree with some of what I share with you from our spiritual perspective.  While I understand this I feel I need to share with you what we believe.  Paula and I both feel like we are in a spiritual battle.  Through this entire experience Paula has felt God’s presence in a powerful way.  She is being transformed and drawn into a deeper relationship with Jesus.  I too have had some great times with God as you have read in previous posts.  However, to be honest with you I have struggled with God these past weeks.  Not in the perspective of believing in Him or knowing He is with us but more in just feeling personally abandoned.  The weight of responsibility through all this has been overwhelming at times and the shear volume of things to do kicks me into my “get it done” task mode.  That combined with not sleeping great has meant that my time to sit and receive from Jesus has been limited.  God has been my source of strength so when I don’t take the time to just be with Him I can really tell.  It changes my outlook on daily life.  Paula has also struggled this week with being more discouraged then she has been throughout this experience.  So this morning I took some time to sit and read through the devotional book that I have been using along with the scriptures that go with them.  One of the days I read this morning shared the following.

Learn to appreciate difficult days.  Be stimulated by the challenges you encounter along your way.  As you journey through rough terrain with Me, gain confidence from your knowledge that together we can handle anything.  This knowledge is comprised of three parts:  your relationship with Me, promises in the Bible, and past experiences of coping successfully during hard times.

Look back on your life, and see how I have helped you through difficult days.  If you are tempted to think, “Yes, but that was then, and this is now,” remember who I AM!  Although you and your circumstances may change dramatically, I remain the same throughout time and eternity.  This is the basis of your confidence.  In My Presence you live and move and have your being.

Isaiah 41: 10  “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

So I ask that you keep praying for us and that we will continue to seek and find God in all things.  That we are strengthen by Him and feel His presence with us moment by moment even when the days are difficult.

Thank you for being on this journey with us.

Eric and Paula

Advertisement